Sit. Eat.

The moment I pull out my Palm Pilot and fold-up keyboard I have a crowd. My exuberant waitress comes over instantly, as does the rest of the restaurant staff and several customers. I demonstrate the folding keyboard again to great acclaim. So much for low-key anonymity.

The woman at the wine bar saw that I dearly needed direction. I tentatively picked out a wine. “No, no, this one!” I pointed at something that looked vaguely green. “Here, you need meat with that,” piling on the sausages. “And some of this.” Eggplant. “And a tomato.” Done? No. “Some bread!” “Sit. There. Eat.” She ordered.