"So how are your reviews going," I asked her.
"Well, it’s eye opening," she responded.
"That’s a term that could mean a lot,"
"OK then, how about eviscerating."
"Oh. Want to talk about it?"
Renee’s first review of the day rattled her, as did mine. It made me wonder what I’m doing here. This is probably just my moody, introspective side running amok, but I am a bit at loose ends at this event. Unlike previous reviews, I don’t have a singular project to promote here. In the past I have had my Ireland project and the book mock-up to pitch. For the past 7 years I have been whacking away with that work, trying to get it known and ultimately published. I think the effort has exhausted itself finally, and I have grieved and mourned the loss of that particular dream. I did not even bring the mock-up with me. The problem is, I don't have a specific back-up dream to bring to this show-and-tell.
I have my new Venice work, which is so new I don’t know which images form a cohesive body of work. So I show too many. I think of those pictures as being in the family of all panoramic work I have shot in the past decade, so I have bits and pieces from lots of places. As a whole it doesn’t gather into a unitary statement.
My first review, with a serious NY gallery, set me straight about some "rules" of dealing with that realm, some of which were news to me. That editions of more than 20 or 25 are suspect. That listing all my exhibits, particularly the café venues, weakens my status. I come across as a lightweight, which I secretly fear I am. That it is evident I don’t have my presentation down by the volume of work I have. That much of my work is traditional landscape pegs me as a "West Coast" photographer, and there are way too many of us to keep count. It’s hard to rise above that crowd. This was my confidence-building first review.
Fortunately, things did improve. Richard Perez remembered me from last time, and he suggested I should consider making a trip to LA to show my work to the owners of the gallery. But my work is a bit on the "traditional" side for them. Tom Jimison from Baldwin in Tennessee also remembers me, and commends me on my email newsletters, though he is programmed out nearly two years now. Actually, all but one of my reviewers I had seen at previous events, which is useful for the sake of continuity and relationship investment. No one, however, had anything immediate they could hold out hope for.
At this moment I am tired, and exhausted by the effort to put myself forward so assertively. Ask me again another time—my mood will probably have swung to and fro about six times in the interval.
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